On his downtrodden slog to his Hover Cube, Protag thought of the many different ways to break the news to his family that he had been passed up as heir to the company, he pulled into his drive way with the third version of his pre-planned monologue.
PROTAG
No honey, don’t cry, I’m still the Vice President that accounts for something. I’m sorry dear we won’t be able to afford that robo-butler after all, and R0-RY, you might want to consider a state school hon-
The voice inside Protag’s head chimed in.
INNER PROTAG
Come on man, she’s had her heart set on Winston U since she was four, we can’t go in there and tell her that .
PROTAG
Fine, but I’m putting my foot down on that damn butler-bot.
INNER PROTAG
Whatever’s clever friend, heads up I got us to the front door during this convo. Good luck buddy.
Protag looked ahead, sure enough he was at the front door to his house, he sighed opening the door almost walking right into Wa-N-Da as she and R0-RY were leaving with packed luggage.
PROTAG
Were you two taking a trip?
WA-N-DA
I’m leaving you; the divorce tablet is in the kitchen.
PROTAG
Why?
WA-N-DA
I found out about Antag’s promotion, being with you is irrelevant now.
PROTAG
You’re joking right?
WA-N-DA
You know how much I hate comedy.
PROTAG
But R0-RY-
WA-N-DA
Was never yours. P.S., I knew all about that Invesigator-bot.
Protag kneeled down to R0-RY.
PROTAG
This all might be a little confusing, but I will always lov-
R0-RY
Please get up, this is very embarrassing.
Protag stood in pained shock.
RO-RY
Thanks for raising me for three cycles and all, but if I’m being a hundred percent honest I never actually respected you. No hard feelings okay?
PROTAG
Like daughter, like mother huh?
R0-RY
More like actual Father, This detached of an exit is more his style.
WA-N-DA and R0-RY pushed Protag aside, piled into the Hover Cube and launched into the air out of his life forever.
Protag collapsed on the couch as soon as he made it to his living room, curling into a ball of sorrow asking himself, “what can I do to get out of this rut?”
INNER PROTAG
You can kill Antag.
PROTAG
I can kill Antag.
The atmosphere at Jumbo’s Bolt Room was electric to say the least, Le-Thario decided to celebrate his non-ascension up the corporate ladder by throwing credit chips around like they were nails. He had rounded up his three closest “friends” from his frat house days, I0-Top who had the body of a large spinning top with coil aluminum limbs, REG-E a stocky Crane-Bot with an extended neck and finally “The Armadillo” named for his ability to become a mobilized wrecking ball. The four hooted and hollered, drank to oblivion having the time of their lives when a tall mysterious robot dressed in a trench coat approached their “players table”.
TRENCHCOAT
Le-Thario-Archy?
LE-THARIO
Yes ma’am ahahaha!!!
TRENCHCOAT
If you could please step outside.
LE-THARIO
Well since you asked nicely.
He stood from the middle of the booth extending his legs to climb over everyone.
LE-THARIO
I’ll be back fellas, keep the ladies warm.
I0-TOP
Will do LT, Reg go get some blankets from the car.
REG-E
That’s not what he meant.
They stepped out into a rainy back alley, paths of broken puddles scattered on the black concrete.
LE-THARIO
Make this fast pal, Jubilee is coming to the stage in like five minutes and I want a good seat.
The man in the trench coat looked around for cameras or any other prying eyes before he undid the scarf covering his face revealing himself to be Pat-Ree.
LE-THARIO
Poppa! What’s with the costume come on in, I’ll get you a drink and a lap dance, in your case I’ll get twenty of em
PAT-REE
No one can see me boy, I’m on the run?
LE-THARIO
From what? You got two days to live; anyone trying to end you can wait in line can’t they?
Pat-Ree told his son about his experience in the hospital, and his escape from the incinerator.
LE-THARIO
Woah!
PAT-REE
Woah indeed my boy.
LE-THARIO
But how do I know you’re the real you and not uncle Ko?
PAT-REE
When you were ten you wet yourself at a sleepover at Reggies, I picked you up in the middle of the night and paid off his parents while threatening them not tell anyone.
LE-THARIO
The old bribe and threaten, your signature move, Pappa it is you!
PAT-REE
And if you help me find it and expose this imposter I’ll make it worth your while, if you don’t, you won’t make it to the next sunrise!
Le-Thario hugged his father who patted him back, then regained composure snapping into a fighting stance.
LE-THARIO
Okey dokey Smokey, where we going, whose titanium thorax do I need to snap!
PAT-REE
Everyone had left by the time I made it to Archy Co, so I went to the one bot I knew I could trust.
LE-THARIO
Me!?
PAT-REE
Sure!
Le-Thario held up his thumb summoning “Tygra” his Monster Hover-Truck. Father and son leapt in the vehicle flying off in the night sky.
PAT-REE
You’re not worried about your friends.
LE-THARIO
They won’t even know I was gone.
I0-Top, Reg-E and the Armadillo were having drinks with dancers, Can-Dee, Sun-E and Ram-Z when a call was made out from the loudspeaker.
LOUDSPEAKER
Comin’ to the stage it’s JUB-I-LEE!
CAN-DEE
Wasn’t your pal interested in her?
I0-TOP
Nah Reggies already got a girl.
REG-E
I think she means Le-Thario.
ARMADI110
Who?
The Hover-Truck touched down at a suburban area where K0B01T’s home was supposed to be but had been replaced with a crater. Pat-Ree and Le-Thario emerged perplexed and on guard.
LE-THARIO
You’re sure this is the right place?
PAT-REE
This was his last listed residence.
LE-THARI0
Maybe he got whacked for failing to do you in.
The thought of his brother’s demise caused him to look down in grief, K0b01t was a malicious lowlife who tried to kill him numerous times, but he was still family.
PAT-REE
Who could hate me this much?
LE-THARIO
It’s totally Mom.
PAT-REE
You think?
LE-THARIO
Take a minute and go over the past couple of years Pops.
Pat-Ree went stiff his eyes folding back into his head as he processed the information before returning to his usual sunken posture.
PAT-REE
<Sigh> It’s totally her. So what now?
LE-THARIO
Get down!
Shots rang out from the Ion-Gloc coming from the Black Van that sped around the corner, the two jumped headfirst through Tygra’s open windows zooming away with the black van in tow.
PAT-REE
You outfitted this thing with some shield technology or rocket defenses, right?
LE-THARIO
No can do Padre, this car’s a lover not a fighter.
PAT-REE
How about a survivor?
The Black Van shot off a missile that hit the passenger side door causing Pat-Ree to be sucked out, holding on to his seat from outside the Hover-Truck.
LE-THARIO
Hang tight Pops I can get us out of this!
PAT-REE
No son, its like I told you, always have another plan, you were plan C and I got this far. I hope I see you again and if I don’t, be there for you brothers and stop taking all that damn money from the slush fund!
Pat-Ree let go, falling into the night sky allowing Le-Thario time to escape.
The Hover-Truck swooped down into the Jumbo’s Bolt Room parking lot.
Le-Thario got out of the car slowly striding through the front doors headed straight to the bar.
LOUDSPEAKER
For her last dance on center stage, it’s JUB-I-LEE!!!!
The bartender poured him two shots as requested and with his back to the stage Le-Thario poured one drink to the ground and chugged the other one.
The Drewniverse 44 