The alarm went off at 5:30 AM precisely. Antag’s black visor lit up the room in a powerful bright red as the conveyor belt came alive. There were three racks, the top was Antag’s skull, it lined up with the center rack holding his mid section, the bottom rack held many different versions of his legs and feet. Once the head and the mid section were united Antag lead out a huge YAWN, the conveyor arms were about to connect the regular black legs when Antag stopped them.
ANTAG
Get me the destroyer legs!
The bottom rack sped through many different combinations before finding legs made in a jet black chrome with rigid spikes at the knees that bent forward, with larger sharper metal talons for the feet.
After his steam cleaning Antag listened to all of the messages left on his answering machine. Most of them were from befuddled family members and guests of the party who wondered where he went off to. Protag pretended to be concerned; Le-Thario tried to set up a meeting at some spa, the last one was a day older from WA-N-DA.
WA-N-DA
I finally left Protag, I’m with R0-RY at the motel across from your building-
Antag promptly deleted her message. His biosensors detected an immediate threat, shifting a quarter inch to his left a laser bolt flew past his head, Antag spun around facing a four armed bot with the aluminum head of a preying mantis, he knew who this had to be.
ANTAG
ART-URO!
ART-URO
The one and only mon-ami!
Antag had used Art-Uro on many a job, he once sent him to wipe out an entire family of a foreman who tried to unionize.
ANTAG
Whoever sent you must have deep pockets, tell me and I will allow you to leave with two arms.
ART-UO
Uh uh uh, client privileges and all that.
ANTAG
Very well!
Antag ran head firstt at Art-Uro who used all four plasma six shooters against the upgraded MK: 23 who dodged every shot, got up close to Art-Uro and tore his head clean off his body. The body went into protective mode, scurrying up the walls still shooting at its target while it backed into a ceiling vent. Antag used his x-ray vision to track the assassin, blasting through to the apartment above him tackling Art-Uro’s body mid air, crushing it like a soda can, then tearing it in half . The Lonely Bank-Bot who was cowering behind the marble island kitchen counter stood with his hands raised. Antag threw him his business card.
ANTAG
That is so you know who I am and how much power I posses, I refuse to pay for any of this. Good day!
Antag leaped through the hole back into his apartment finishing his morning routine before he had to be at the TV studio. Of course he wanted to find out who wanted him dead, but there were too many people to ponder with so little time.
The cheery environment backstage of “Good Morning Ultra City” was one that made Antag uncomfortable and thankful he could never project his true feelings to others. The make up artist applied polish to his face while host Sall-E Ki-Mono went over show notes.
SALL-E
Right after the cooking segment, I will give you your intro and you’ll enter stage left to your right, got it?
ANTAG
I can comprehend basic stage directions.
SALL-E
That’s great, do you have an opening anecdote or…
ANTAG
It is paramount that the banter be kept to a minimum, I am not good at it because it infuriates me.
SALL-E
Don’t forget to have fun.
ANTAG
I will do no such thing.
It was time for Antag’s segment, Sall-E introduced him, he met his mark, she went to give him a hug, he moved right past her in a laser-focused strut to the guest’s chair.
SALL-E
Welcome Antag, I hear you have an important message to make.
ANTAG
My first order of business as new C.E.O. and G.F.O. of Archy Corp is to acquire Next-Gen Robotics; my team was busy buying every share before I even restarted this morning. Coinciding with this news here is my long lost half sister KVXIV.
KVXIV stomped out on set; her NX-10 body and intimidating yet blatantly nervous demeanor clashed more with bright set than Antag.
KVXIV
Hello.
ANTAG
She is now the new C.E.O. and G.F.O. of Archy Corp. I am taking my shares to the Moon to begin my own society, the farthest I can get from this rotating ball of debris and all of its salacious vermin, Good day!
SALL-E
Not so fast.
Sall-E’s mouth opened wide as blue plasma balls shot out.
ANTAG
Perfect, another assassin.
KVXIV
Another?
ANTAG
It has been a long morning.
Sall-E’s four limbs expanded then split in two revealing eight legs, going from plasma bursts to a steady laser stream that cut burned through the entire studio slashing through the audience.
KVXIV
Shoot it.
ANTAG
It is waving too erratically for me to get a fixed position.
KVXIV
<Sigh> Stand still.
KVXIV glided over to Antag, she expanded while opening her body to surround him with a protective exoskeleton, their minds were synced slowing down relative time allowing Antag a better look at the assassin. Antag held up his right hand launching a knuckle rocket through the laser directly into Sall-E’s mouth.
She exploded in a bright blue blaze taking half the studio with her. Antag and KVXIV were the only survivors, she unattached from him, surveying the wreckage.
ANTAG
Assasin or not the message has been made clear, when will your unit apprehend Mat-Ree?
KVXIV
Any moment now.
ANTAG
The rest is up to you, I have a space flight in four hours
KVXIV
Any advice?
ANTAG
My brothers are too naïve to double cross you, which makes them easier to stab in the back yet ultimately underwhelming when you do so.
KVXIV
Why did you put your faith in me?
ANTAG
I expect you to fail.
Antag ignited his heel boosters, shooting through the roof.
Antag reached his apartment surprised to see Protag standing in his living room; he brandished a plasma luger then blew him apart. Protag stepped over to Antag’s severed skull; the visor was still red indicating he was still alive. Protag stomped on the visor, disembodied arms rose up from where they had been scattered, flying towards their attacker then fell to the ground just short of strangling him.
PROTAG
If you want something done right, might as well do it yourself.
The Drewniverse 44 