The year is 526 A.D.D., five millennia since what was commonly known as the apocalypse, years of pollution lead to the destruction of the ozone layer yet the radiation from the sun coupled with the radiated fall out from nuclear wars created rapidly intense weather systems that lead to drastic flora, fauna and geographical changes.
A terrifying earthquake at the center of what was once called the United States of America caused the center to rise further separating the east and western coasts. The West was now a hybrid, desert, forest and jungle; one hundred years ago the massive land formerly known as the state of California had too broken off, sinking into the Ocean, making the land formally known as Seattle the western capitol. The East was entirely covered in ice, with the island city formerly known as New York the only habitable location.
Eventually society rose again and currently appears as a mixture of 15th century politics, 1980’s technology and early 21st century attitudes. Presently, King Morton over see’s the West and Queen Pol’ar Vortex the East; both rule their subjects with an iron fist. Anything that does not directly serve the needs of the royals is forbidden, with the creation of all entertainment the highest offense and punishable by death.
CHAPTER ONE
THE WESTERN ROYALS
Francisco splashed the scalding hot water on his face, then wiped his hand across the foggy bathroom mirror and nothing, no burning, no pain and aside from having the temperature turned all the way up most water of the fifth century had an acidic tinge to it that offered first degree burns. But the prince of the West felt nothing, he smacked himself across the face for what had to be the eight hundredth time and still there was nothing. He had to use his left arm having broken his right flinging himself down the stairs in another failed attempt to feel something.
The Prince took another moment to stare at his wet pale face in the mirror reflecting over all the facial scars, the cuts from when he bashed his head in with the mirror to the right and of course the black right eye healing from when Delphine had smashed his face in with the frying pan after he moved to strike her post her proclamation that she was having an affair.
If Cisco had to guess that simultaneous emotional blow to the heart and the very, very real blow to the skull is what the prince assumed caused his new numbness or “knew numbness” as he coined only to himself.
The pan slap, stair trip and now bathroom freak-out happened over a full twenty four hour period of time but the events that created them had been brewing for over a year ever since Cisco’s cousin/half-brother Prince Bauchner aka Bushy came to him with a proposition on Bushy’s birthday.
The two of them were playing target practice with a blind folded delivery driver chained up to a pole in the center of a drained pool, his crime was being ten minutes late with their pizza. Their ammunition was blanks but the sound coming from the sawed off nega-ton muskets gave off the terrifying effect the royals wanted. They were both wearing ear-mufflers and oversized tangerine colored goggles when Bushy sighed tapping Cisco on the shoulder before he was about to use his mini-hand-sub to shoot a fatal micro-torpedo into the delivery boy’s forehead.
BUSHY
Stall it out Cisco, I’m over it.
CISCO
You sure?
BUSHY
I’m yawning bruh.
CISCO
So don’t end him then?
BUSHY
Please don’t, and give him a really big tip or something.
Francisco called out to the delivery boy.
CISCO
TODAY’S YOUR LUCKY DAY YOU KNOW THAT?
Unfortunately the delivery boy couldn’t respond as he was permanently deafened by the blasts from their guns. Francisco shrugged and gestured to the guards who had been standing nearby silent in rage and terror to pick up the delivery boy and take him to his car parked in the front, he then reached into the inner breast pocket of his red and yellow flowered silk shirt taking out a wad of paper “funds” and throwing it at the delivery boys forehead.
CISCO
Glad that wasn’t a torpedo, huh!?
The delivery boy picked up the wad of money; unable to actually hear the prince he just smiled and nodded politely before hurrying up past the guards out of the gates that lead to the outside from the palace pool area.
Bushy was having a drink at the patio bar; he could see his brother/cousin sauntering over to him. Everyone in the kingdom hated Cisco, but Bushy just pitied him and a small twelve percent of what you could call a conscience almost felt guilty about the scam that he was going to approach him with.
Francisco plopped next to Bushy, put in his drink order into the nearby-automated machine as Turbo whisky drained into a pint-sized glass.
CISCO
Don’t tell me you’re getting soft on me cuz?
Bushy hated that Francisco mostly spoke in questions; it put all of the work in any conversation completely on your shoulders.
BUSHY
This life is boring, we wake up we party, we kill scrubs…pfft I’m thirty cycles old and I got nothing to show for it.
CISCO
Sucks right?
BUSHY
But I got an idea bruh, you know Vesper that girl you and Delphi hooked me up with?
CISCO
Sure?
BUSHY
We got a wild idea and we just need some of your ends to make it work.
CISCO
What’s the idea?
BUSHY
We’re going to make a movie.
The “art of filmmaking” had become a crime since the Grand content wars of 376 A.D.D. anyone, even royalty who was involved with the creation, distribution and/or viewing of any expression of art displaying a coherent narrative, characters and/or plot would be sentenced to death. Francisco knew this but he also knew that Bushy was the smartest person he knew, everyone told him that including his father and his fiancé so the idea of him having a bad plan that could surely lead to their deaths was behind a fleet of afterthoughts.
CISCO
How much you need?
For the next three months, Cisco gave Bushy over eighty thousand-fund chips (quarter sized wooden coins painted red up to 10 dollars in the current currency of whom every is reading this at whatever time). During the filmmaking process Francisco carried out his usual routine of sleep, intoxication and casual homicide; occasionally he went shopping which is where he got the bright orange ascot that he wore day and day out until it became grimy and worn, not once did he ever check on the movie or his fiancé Delphine who he allowed to be the female lead in the story, the idea of her using this opportunity to have an affair with her co-star was another after thought buried behind so many others.
Signore aka Sigg was a dog-skull mutant a Great-Danester to be correct. Sigg had the head of the animal but the rest of his body was that of a normal man, part of the next evolution that been taking place since 108 A.D.D. As per usual the Dog-Skulls were feared and subjugated by humankind but these days they hold positions of power in the service industries. Sigg was a waiter at his Uncle Vern’s diner where he encountered that strange Royal, the King’s bastard, who was robbing the diner for no reason other than boredom, the two hit it off (which is to be expected when one of the folks in a conversation is holding a deadly micro sized bazooka up the nostril of the other).
After taking in the fear and desperation on Sigg’s face, Bushy put his weapon down onto his magnetic holster easing down into the red leathered booth without taking his eyes off of the Dog-Skull in front of him.
BUSHY
You got a look my friend, has anyone ever told you that?
Sigg’s hands were still in the air as he moved his head side to side.
BUSHY
Calm down pop a squat young govnah all right? You look bleepin’ tense if you don’t mind me sayin’ so.
Sigg sat down across from the man with the bright brown beard, pale skin and pale green eyes.
BUSHY
This is the seventh place I’ve stuck up tonight; I’m going on a bit of a rampage if you can’t tell. In the middle of casting and I couldn’t seem to find what I want, its frustrating, you know?
Sigg nodded, despite having no idea what he was saying.
BUSHY
What’s your name boy?
SIGG
Alfonso-Aloysius Brando-Conductible Signore but people call me Sigg.
BUSHY
Good to meet you Sigg, I’m Bushy-
SIGG
You’re on the paper money!
BUSHY
Very true, but its not good to interrupt, anyhoo, have you ever thought about being in a motion picture?
Sigg had no idea if this was a trap or not, he held firm doing his best to keep from panting.
SIGG
Never my lord.
The truth was Sigg had heard about and been in awe of the mythical warriors called actors since he was a pup, he marveled at their ability to lie to get to the truth. He wasn’t about to admit any of that to the guy on the $5 just so he could get his head blown off, he hated his Dog-Skull but not nearly enough to part ways with it. Bushy stared him down until a smile emerged on his face and he burst out laughing.
BUSHY
HAHAHA THAT WAS FANTASTIC! The fear, the sincerity, I could tell you were lying but you still sold me, simply amazing!
SIGG
Sir if you’re gonna kill me please do it, cause I really don’t want to die of this stroke that’s about to happen.
BUSHY
My apaologies, you’re not gonna die in fact… Hold on, you got any surveillance cameras in here.
Sigg pointed at the two cameras to the right and left corners of the ceiling. Bushy took out his pocket bazooka and shot one camera after the other before turning back to Sigg.
BUSHY
I’m gonna make you a star my furry friend.
One day later Sigg found himself on the set of a movie, not knowing what to expect, it just seemed like the set was a bunch of folks hanging out on a suburban street, as expected everyone else was one hundred percent human, but they were of the “new skool” so they pretended to not be freaked out by Sigg by being way too into him. Exposing cheers of “soon your people will rise” and “I wish I was Dog-Skull, I hate being a sapien” he laughed to himself knowing that they were the kinds of people Uncle Vernon favored the most to use in his “Mystery Stew” (a culinary favorite of the West) .
Backstage Sigg smiled and nodded politely amongst the phonies until he saw her, she was ghostly white, tall, rake thin her purple dress clinging to widest hips he had ever seen with red pouty lips and a mop top of even more vibrant fiery hair, he approached her.
SIGG
Hello Ma’am I’m…
DELPHINE
Wow wait staff, Francisco is certainly blowing his load into this thing. I’ll have a-
SIGG
No Ma’am I’m Sigg I’m the lead actor.
Delphine cupped her mouth in shock and then started laughing.
DELPHINE
Cheese Louise, Vesper told me she got a Dog-Skull boy for the lead but I thought she was joking, AHA. Allow me to introduce myself I am Duchess Delphine and your co-star.
Sigg’s nervousness was betrayed by a loud “GULP”
DELPHINE
I don’t blame you I am rather attractive, but I must warn you I’m sleeping with the producer.
She gestured to the tall blonde muscular man with the dingy orange ascot who just slapped a cup of coffee out of the hands terrified personal assistant. Sigg instantly recognized him as the guy on the $2.
SIGG
The actual prince!
DELPHINE
The one and the same, hold on to your tail Scruffy.
SIGG
It’s Sigg.
DELPHINE
I don’t care; we’re going to go to my trailer.
SIGG
I’d love to.
DELPHINE
I wasn’t asking now hurry that mangy hide of yours.
From that moment on and within minutes of being on set Sigg was in his first illustrious studio affair. Truthfully, Delphine had been on a self destructive streak since she could breath and an affair with a half breed on the set of an illegal film while she was engaged to the prince of the West seemed to Delphine like the type of chaos so good it should’ve come with a price tag.
Originally she was having an affair with Vesper, her handmaiden that she set up with Bushy at Francisco’s request, but that relationship had gotten stale of late as Vesper showed herself to be more concerned with this idiotic film than anything else these days.
The plan was to make Vesper jealous which in turn should serve to make Cisco jealous and then she could feed off all of the attention as Delphine had as many cries for help as Cisco had after thoughts.
In truth, Vesper had caught on to Delphine’s little game, which she was content with, as the only reason she started an affair with her was to get close enough to the King’s bastard to help find the funds for her film. For years she grew up the daughter of underground “makers” whose guerrilla films were seen through out the black market. When King Morten caught wind of this he had her parents burned alive in the castle courtyard. She had spent the rest of her childhood hidden amongst the castle staff cleaning bedrooms and toilets by day and by night slowly waiting for her moment to strike by toiling sleeplessly on her story for the perfect film.
She had found out that Prince Bauchner had secretly been producing “disposable snuff films” mini movies of real murders that would self destruct after they were played, Vesper took the opportunity to gain favor with Delphine, seduce her and then convinced the Duchess to introduce her to Bauchner.
Her pitch quickly won him over and he agreed that financing her film of rebellion would be his next mission in life.
From Bushy’s standpoint this small chubby moleish girl with the thick glasses and squeaky voice couldn’t have come at a better time. Bushy was looking to deflect to Europe and the easiest way to do that would be if he had something to bargain, like an illegally made anti-western propaganda film for instance. Things could not have gone so smoothly, the film had been made and Francisco had been so carless with his money that Bushy was able to pocket over a third of the budget, all he needed to do now was get from the west to his contact in Haven City (used to be Kansas City), he told Vesper, Cisco, Delphine and Sigg that the plane was waiting to take them all away to the other side of the world but once they got there he would only need Sigg believing him to be a profitable commodity in the film scene, the others had been ordered to be shot on sight.
Cisco’s swatch let out its small chimes, he checked his left wrist and grunted forgetting that his hand with the watch was attached to the broken arm inside of the lime green plaster cast. It was the alarm letting him know that it was time for him to meet up with Bushy and the others so they could take the Royal Van out of the city and on the road to meet up with French connection his cousin/half-brother told him about. He knew that he could not tell his father any of this but still felt the urge out of sentimentality to stop by the royal throne room to say goodbye in his own way.
The prince stood by watching his father, King Morten, direct the royal mover as he took his collection of taxidermy kittens from their delivery crate and had them organized on his new oak shelves. He called out to the thin and frail teenager who stood nervously holding a frozen Calico cat on the wobbly ladder adjacent to the twelve-foot tall shelf.
KING MORTEN
A little to the left Pistachio, in-between the Tabby and the hairless.
CISCO
Collection finally got here huh pops?
KING MORTEN
And not a moment too soon, look at it son, every cat species in the west hunted down to extinction by your Father.
CISCO
Every cat species?
KING MORTEN
Every last one, hell of a project but it was worth it.
CISCO
What’s next?
KING MORTEN
I really want to move up to people, like take Pistachio here, can’t you just see a petrified version of him frozen in terror for all eternity standing where you are?
CISCO
Wouldn’t that be tough?
KING MORTEN
Certainly, that’s why I’m starting slow, using Dog-Skull’s as practice, there was word that one is starring in an illegal film that’s making the rounds so I’ve arranged for your brother.
CISCO
Cousin.
KING MORTEN
To round him up, sorry I hadn’t told you earlier, you were healing from that incident on the stairs. How’s the cast by the way?
CISCO
I think its fine? Dad I got to go, I think, but I love you and I think its good bye forever you know?
KING MORTEN
Ah Francisco, you are quite the card, carry on and don’t be late for supper.
Francisco shrugged, picked up his suitcase and jogged to the castle gates where everyone had been waiting in the van.
Hours later post supper neither of his sons had returned and there was no trace of the Dog-Skull actor, the Duchess or her handmaiden. King Morten called the Royal Bureaucrat who then did a little bit of digging to find out that his very own sons were responsible for the current illegal film and might just be leaving for overseas on a shipment liner expected to be in Haven City by the end of the week.
For reasons unbeknownst to him King Morten actually cared for his two sons and did not want to see them harmed even though the law of the land required their deaths for their involvement in the illegal film. He decided to dispatch the royal bounty hunter who would retrieve his wayward sons and bring them back to the castle, the Dog-Skull, the Duchess and the handmaiden would be executed, the thought of having not one, not two but three new taxidermy subjects did manage to turn his betrayed frown upside down and he looked forward to sharing a meal of “Mystery Stew” from his favorite restaurant with his boys as soon as they returned home with this all behind them.
The Drewniverse 44 